totality

Assume you have two men, one builds cars and the other works on the assembly line at Ford motors. Did you notice the difference between these two men? while it could be argued that both build cars, the flaw in that argument is totality. only the man who builds the car from the ground up has the big picture, total control over quality and creativity. mr. assembly line is all about routine.

is routine bad? of course not, patterns exist to make things understandable. most people don't have that big picture knowledge of anything, we might have partial knowledge of many things but that non-pervasive element of totality remains elusive.

tonight i was asked: why? why do you work seven days a week? why don't you fight for those days off, days that could be spent living and not working?

i immediately rattled off the half dozen rationalities that keep me from asking that question myself: no one else was available, i was asked and that's enough, it's my responsibility, etc. these answers smacked eerily of excuse, lacking any substantive reason. further query was necessary...

i can boil it down to two reasons, respect and pride. there are two groups of professionals that i deal with: those i respect and those i work with. those i work with are just that, people who do similar tasks as i do and look forward to friday and payday. these people aren't flawed, they just operate differently than i do.

the people whom i respect drive me to work longer, smarter and harder, encouraging me to reach that totality i require, the big picture. they expect excellence, perfection, everything you have, a pride in your work as a hallmark you leave behind.

the problem is that, like most men, i have so much of who i am wrapped up in what i do. working with these people make me better at my job, my job defines me as a person, so being better at my job makes me a better person? noble but shortsighted at best. i want more...

"...You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet..."